The Real unadulterated Cat is under threat of extinction as more and more of us settle for those boring, mass-produced, purr-fect pussycats that appear in adverts—the fluffy cats that wear bows and eat from gold-plated bowls marked Kitty. All is not lost, however.
The Campaign for Real Cats sets out to change all that by helping us to recognise an authentic, unadulterated cat when we see one.

For example:
Real cats never wear flea collars . . . 
or appear on Christmas cards . . .
or chase anything with a bell on it.

Cats with ears that look like they have been trimmed with pinking shears are Real cats.

Real cats do eat quiche. And giblets. And butter. And anything else left on the side if they think they can get away with it. They can hear a fridge door opening two rooms away.

Real cats don't need names. But they often get called them. 'Yaargeroffoutofityarbastard' does nicely.